Anecdotal Analogues

11 March 2009


Hey, if any of you guys are out there reading this, take note. There are two most terrible things you could do to a woman.

Abuse and abandon.

Hey girls, do any of these ring a bell here???

This is applicable to any relationship with a woman, be it man to wife, or girlfriend, father to daughter, son to mom, and trust me, it’s also applicable to female friends.

By the way, this article is not to give all guys out there any new ideas to device plans on their female counterparts thinking that it’s pay-back time. This is just as an advice to foster better relations by avoiding what’s mentioned here.

Abuse : This is no laughing business, mind you. The moment you lay a finger on a woman, that’s when you have admitted defeat and inferiority to her subconsciously. And you had to use this unorthodox way to win an argument so that you can scramble to grab what’s left of your pride. That’s pathetic!

What do you think, it’s the stone-age time when kicking a woman’s ass were deemed normal?

There was this sensational news about Chris Brown and Rihanna, both young, talented singers. While dating together, the lady got physically abused badly during a heated argument. So bad, she needed to stay away from the limelight to recuperate and he needed to stand up in court. They patch things up in no time! What’s surprising to me, is not the fact that she had forgiven him in a second, but the fact that the reconciliation created such a huge furor that even Oprah Winfrey, the top-earning talk show host, has taken such immense interest. Why, she dedicated a segment of her show to them!

Let’s face it, this is just another run-of-the-mill story about a woman who encourages such atrocious male behavior unknowingly, which happened to a lot of other female sufferers living in fear. Fear of losing the guy and ironically, fear of getting ‘physical sessions’ anytime. A paradox in itself. It’s depressing that this is so common around the world that hopefully this celebrity news and the publicity which comes with it will finally be a wake-up call to all victims out there.

What’s saddening is that I came to know that such absolutely horrifying behavior has happened to some of my girlfriends before. Based on their anecdotes, these men do not need the slightest excuse to implement violence. With each time, they were more and more easily provoked, and the beatings turned out to be more and more severe. There was never a last time.

Thankfully, my girlfriends have moved on, initially with dejection, depression and despair. All that brutality had left them weak-willed and full of self-doubts then. Now, they were so relieved to get out of those dark periods that they wonder - why was I so dumb that I hadn’t got out sooner! See the difference?

If you are such a victim – don’t feel sorry about yourself. Such instances can happen to anybody, even celebrities. Just remember, don’t allow such monstrous mannerisms to take their chances anymore. It is imperative that you run to your close friends and family for cover, hang on and don’t turn back, not even for that split second. You will no doubt have a brighter future then what’s behind you. I understand that it is hard to leave but you will thank yourself for it.

Please ladies, don’t ever for once think that they will change for the better, because they never will, unless they seek medical help. Even then again, it’s not a guaranteed cure. Once there is a first time, there will definitely be a second, third time, so on and so forth. It’s a never-ending story.

People to avoid : wife/girlfriend-bashing maniacs, split personality freaks, sadistic monsters with a passion for violent scenarios, or even NICE guys with the slightest tinge of physical violence tendencies.

Abandon : hey, don’t think it’s a small matter. It can really hurt a woman emotionally just as bad as abuse can injure a woman physically.

Thankfully, I haven’t met any guys who are advocates of the first one, but I have met quite a few that has certainly showed me they are capable of doing the second one. So therefore I can draw on my own experience for this.

At the time of writing this article, I was still trying to recover from a breakup of the most intense and longest relationship in my life then. After being caught red-handed for things he shouldn’t do, he said with a straight face, “I am sorry, let’s breakup.” Then he just turned around and walked away without looking back even for a glimpse. I was devastated, as I was never the one who wanted to end things. It wasn’t our first major breakup, but every single time, there was this same emotional overdrive in me that refused to decelerate.

Frankly, dealing with breakups has always been the hardest task for me, especially when I was the one getting dumped and this time round, I knew it was for real. I turned into this melodramatic freak that has just gone bonkers. One minute I was fine and the next I broke down and sank into this depression hell-hole that keep reminding myself of the reality - he will never come back. That hurt me so much, it feels like a dagger had just stab into my pumping heart. I was behaving like a maniac having hallucinations of him that makes me reminisce of his daily activities at our place.

I had friends who were concerned enough to keep me company at my place or with my then favorite activity – drinking my weight in alcohol to the point of oblivion. But when they were not there, I was back into this same hysterical cycle again. My desperation sometimes drove me to make horrendous decisions that came with undesirable consequences that until today, I still terribly regret. I looked him up and pleaded, only to have him telling me not to keep in touch with him ever again. After which, he began to avoid my calls and messages. Then, I joined every dating sites and agencies possible and with my excess baggage, hoping to move on as quickly as I can. (You and I know that this is not gonna work)

There is no way to count the numerous abandonment that are happening out there every day, but it is no doubt in my opinion, just as serious an issue as physical violence that is understated. Based on my account, the side-effects that come with the former is just as damaging as the latter. Hopefully my article will bring across the message that the aforementioned behaviors are not to be taken lightly.

For all ladies out there who had been through or are going through similar experiences as mine, HE IS JUST NOT WORTH IT. Although I do not deny I am in pain, but I do recognize that he doesn’t deserve me and that I should be destined for a better man than him. This acknowledgement was a breakthrough in expediting my ongoing development. I am(trying) not looking back and I hope all of you will do the same as me too. Tip - supporting family members and helpful friends indeed play a very crucial role in aiding your progress, so don’t leave them out and sulk in silence all by yourself.

I know that there can be male victims too(the minority) but please guys, whatever it takes, don’t ever do this two ‘A’s no matter what happens. Please consult some medical professionals if you are guilty of any of the above. There are definitely better ways to handle unwanted situations. Cause you gonna have a hard time trying to win her back and it’s not gonna do you any good, short before you regret it!